Monday, March 22, 2010

Dinner Invites

Tare has been blessed with a great workplace with nice coworkers. There are actually quite a few young new hires and they all know each other and get together once in a while for dinner. Tare gets invited to these gatherings ("Oh, and bring your wife too!") and asks me if I want to go. When we first got here, I thought it would be good for him to get to know them better and for me to get out of the house and meet them too so I would say "Let's go." The first few experiences weren't horrible but they weren't really fun either. Now, you'd think that since they all work at the same company, they might have other things to talk about when they get together. But of course! It's just like school, you all go to the same place and might even be in all the same classes but you still end up talking about homework and teachers and other happenings at school after hours. So these are a group of engineers talking about all sorts of things I don't understand, nor do I want to understand, about their work. Therefore, I end up sitting around half-listening half-tuning out, which is not out of character for me since I tend to listen more than talk anyway, but it's just boring. I don't really understand why I have to be there when I can't be included in any conversation. I know they probably invite me because I'm the automatic "plus one" for Tare but once they do that it seems rude to decline and not show up with him. Either we go together or we stay home together. Or is there some other way this works out? Because I do want him to spend time with them if they invite him but I don't really want to go.

So today when Tare told me about being invited to dinner, my first reaction was "do you want to? ...I don't really want to." But then we didn't want to be rude or one of those people/couples you invite multiple times but always declines so we decided to go. Again, I cannot relate to anything being said and I'm just sitting around. Awkward for me since none of them actually makes an effort to directly acknowledge my presence. (I hate that. It seems to be the girls that are kinda weird. The guys are way nicer.) We end up waiting around for dinner which ends up being pretty nasty and very vegetarian. We leave after an hour and a half hungry (and me completely uninterested) straight to Jack-in-the-Box. I needed some freaking protein. Finished up with some Banana Creme Pie from Marie Callendars which really made me much happier.

I try to go into these things with a positive attitude, but it gets tiring once I'm there and feel the invisibleness again. I don't want my non-presence to affect how people think of Tare because usually he ends up choosing to stay with me but I don't enjoy these gatherings at all and I suffer through them. We pick and choose which ones to go to but man... I wish I could just do away with it all and stay home and watch House. (which we missed tonight btw. sad face.)


jozen said...

i totally understand how you feel... my hubby often drags me to his work functions, and i end up not having anything in common with anyone, and i just sit there. I don't want to seem rude, but no one is talking to me (or trying to) for that matter... so what else can I do?

hana said...

I'm so glad it's not just me! I guess we can only rely on our husbands to do some introductions and then take care of us. It's something I've had to talk about with my husband to make sure he knows what I'm going through when I go with him to these things.